"Jijou was perhaps my greatest disappointment in life."

As a veteran of the puppet entertainment scene, I always considered it gauche to engage in politics. My entire life I frowned upon any mention of such trivial subjects in entertainment circles. Children do not need distraction, and the business of politicking is nothing if not an unnecessary distraction. For this reason, I have always reserved my greatest distain for those who would cast aside the noblest profession for their opportunity to “pull the strings”. Until this time, I have not spoken publicly about my failed marriage with Jijou. I want to take this chance to set the record straight.

Jijou was perhaps my greatest disappointment in life. I had taken him on in the late 70’s as a possible successor to the Lambchop dynasty. I needed a young protégé to continue my legacy as Americas’ most beloved Puppet. Needless to say, I was misled. Jijou was not interested in learning the finer art of furry sidekickism.

He had his eye on two things only – access to my fan base, and a green card. Like many puppets of his generation, he wanted access to the American market and he saw me as his way to becoming a “cross-border entertainer”. So, despite being 25 years my junior, he proposed marriage. I would like to say that I saw through his façade, but he was a very charming beast, and truthfully, by that time I had fallen for his charms. We wed on April 2nd, 1973, but his green card (much like Jijou himself), came quickly and he was gone.

Baaaaastard.

Lambchop